Thursday, February 17, 2011

Depression


I can feel myself slipping. I guess it is what was meant to be. Maybe I shouldn't try so hard to avoid the inevitable.

I watched as the months stripped away the familiar.  I surrendered the suit, it was suffocating me anyway. A gift of new life was abruptly taken away, and the reaper still lingers, with unfinished business with the elderly. The dankness is choking the foundations of my home.

I have come away from all of this with my sanity intact. For now. Your love and compassion kept me anchored to the only place of solace left. I have held on tight to save myself. And in my weariness, your grip was for us both. With everything else crumbling, I fear my embrace will suffocate what sustains me.

From afar I stare into its darkness, that which consumes everything. I see no escape from it, that which feeds on light and hope. Please stay with me, my love, for I am scared. And once fear sets in, I know that it is finally upon me.

photo credit : soompi.com

34 comments:

egG. said...

wala ako naintindihan nosebleed here... heheheh...

sana po OK lang kayo.... smile po. :)

egG. said...

wala ako naintindihan nosebleed here... heheheh...

sana po OK lang kayo.... smile po. :)

Kiks said...

transliteration ba ang tawag dito?

or... can anyone koreanize this?

(kisserz, sean)

~Carrie~ said...

Grabe.

Yun lang. Hehe

Mac Callister said...

just hold on my friend...

c - e - i - b - o - h said...

hmm.. don't think too much..
always look on the brighter side na lang..

Mr. Chan said...

if u need someone to talk to. Ping me lang! hehehe...

seriously, just take a yosi break muna! hinga ka lang wag mashadong mag-isip.

yung address mo nga pala. isesend ko na ung magnet :)

Thanks.

Mu[g]en said...

When fear grips the being, seek high places of solace. Tranquility is assured when the thirst of the spirit is quenched. :)

Pipay said...

you're gonna be fine sean...that will come to pass...take it easy...

Xprosaic said...

Wow! ang deep! matalinghaga... in an english kind of way... ahahahahhaha...

Hope ur doing fine buddy!

iamAPv said...

malalagpasan niyo rin po yan.

Just pray. :)

Yj said...

this, too, shall pass....

uno said...

let it be

Nimmy said...

lilipas din ang feeling na yan kuya... singhot ka ng sugar para ok ka na. chos!

*hugggggggggs*

Louie said...

Sorry that I can't give you any words to comfort you. Mukhang sabaw ang utak ko ngayon.

But you'll be in my prayers Sean. I hope you find solace on this time of unrest. My lines are also open to listen. Hugs to you.

Si Inong ay ako said...

thats life kuya sean...... :))) god bless ...

Seth said...

*nosebleed*

Sila lang yata ni Mugen nagkaintindihan?

Saan siya pupunta Sean?

SweetIsh said...

sean dont worry maoovercome mo rin yan.... have faith and just pray! :)

Kyle said...

kuya sean anong drama ito? T_T
hala sana okay ka kuya sean...

KikomaxXx said...

chong umeenglish na level mo nosebleed na ang batman...

pero i believe that if someone would leave another one comes... but the brokenness and depression itself is the painful part.. sana makayanan mo yan.. and i know you will.. ikaw pa.. wahehehe

Sean said...

@egG: haha ako rin dinudugo. salamat eg. depressed lang naman. humabol lang ang lahat ng mga nangyari sa akin, pero inaaliw naman ako ng asawa ko. takot lang ako na mahawa siya sa nega at pati "kami" malason.

@kiks: kailangan ata ng rosetta stone hehe. thanks kiks.

@carrie: hehe. congrats nga pala ulit.

@mac callister: thanks mac.

@ceiboh: oo nga. dapat laging positive. wag paapekto sa negatibong dumadating. thanks kiko.

@mr. chan: thanks for the offer mr. chan. hehe ang dami ko ngang nayoyosi lately. kailangan malibang. babakasyon siguro kami asap to clear my mind. will e-mail you sa address thanks!

@mu[g]en: thanks mugs. i think that's exactly what i need. i keep on forgetting that i can always turn to Him. :') thanks again, appreciate it.

@pipay: thanks for the words of encouragement.

@xprosaic: haha umenglish bigla. thanks xprosaic. in time i will be.

@iamAPv: salamat allan. you're right. i should pray more.

@yj: thanks a lot yj.

@uno: thanks uno. i should leave it all up to Him.

@nimmy: haha napatawa mo ko ading. bigla akong na-high. thank you.

@louie: thanks for your prayers louie and i appreciate your offer. maraming salamat.

@si inong ay ako: thanks for the good wishes, inong :)

@seth: parang may massacre sa dami ng dugo dito haha. ay dito lang siya sa tabi ko. inaaliw ako dahil ang daming masamang nangyari sa akin these past months na ngayon lang humahabol sa akin kaya ganito pakiramdam ko. akala ko matatakasan ko ang depression, hindi rin pala.

@sweetish: thanks ish. oo nga i need to have more faith and to talk to Him more.

@kyle: haha nag-emo ako bigla sorry sir kyle. di ko na napigilan ma-depress bigla :( thank you sa pakikiramay sir.

@kikomaxxx: hehe lagi akong napapatawa ni batman. dumanak ang dugo ngayon. andyan lang sa tabi ko asawa ko pero may ibang mga losses since late last year na ngayon lang tumatama sa akin, hence the depression. thanks sa pakikiramay kiko.

Spiral Prince said...

while you still see the darkness, there is still hope, because darkness is an experience of sight, and is, in a strange way, a testament to your continued existence. you are not the oblivion of the void. should the darkness consume the light, which only the eyes can see, then attempt to see with your heart. keep hope, be strong and let that love see you through this upheaval. this, too, shall pass.

KikomaxXx said...

aw kala ko pa naman sumisingkit na ang mata ng asawa mo at di ka na nakita.. hahaha... ano ba yan parang zombie lang bumabalik from the dead.. hahaha...

숙일옴우 said...

Bravo!

jobologist said...

narigat ka gayam nga katungtong nu depressed ka...baka maibusan ak iti maisarita hehehe

canonista said...

I suggest you find strength from deep within you, after all, at the end of each day... all we have are ourselves.

I know that sometimes, we are just to weak to carry such luggage on our own, a little help or a helping hand from someone is comforting, knowing there is or there are people to help you. However, it is when we are alone, where we discover how strong we are.

Smile, as you linger in melancholy, stand up and walk through the cold darkness that embraces you.

canonista said...

Here's a song I find fitting for anyone undergoing such time in their lives...

Grapevine Fires by Death Cab for Cutie

When the wind picked up, the fire spread
And the grapevine seemed left for dead
And the northern sky looked like the end of days,
The end of days

And a wake-up call to a rented room
Sounded like an alarm of impending doom
To warn us it's only a matter of time
Before we all burn...

Bought some wine and some paper cups
Near your daughter's school when we picked her up
And drove to a cemetery on a hill, on a hill

We watched the plumes paint the sky gray
She laughed and danced through the field of graves
And there I knew it would be all right
That everything would be all right,
Would be all right...

And the news reports
On the radio said it was getting worse
As the ocean air fanned the flames
But I couldn't think
Of anywhere I would've rather been
To watch it all burn away
Burn away,
Burn...

And the firemen worked in double shifts
With prayers for rain on their lips
And they knew it was only a matter of time

hard2getxxx said...

HUG! tom is another day at lilipas din yan

emmanuelmateo said...

Iba talaga ang proffesional na hehe. tumataas na ngayon ang bilang ng mga taong depressed partcularly sa mga babae.yun lng ma say ko.hehe

vhinong said...

Hmmm...pak! ang entry na to dahil napacomment ulit ako...
Find time at least to question yourself on why you are feeling that way, sooner you will find the antidote to this depression. Lucky you! You have someone that will hold you tight. And don't worry, God sees us.

ISTAMBAY said...

bakit namiss ko ito? ahhh kaya pala, teka pahid mung ko ng dugo sa ilong.. hehehehe

sana dis time eh ok ka na parekoy.. :)

Sean said...

@spiral prince: that is just beautiful sp. very inspiring. thanks for the kind words.

@kikomaxxx: haha naku baka wala nang isisingkit yun. balik ng balik hehe.

@숙일옴우: thank you.

@jobologist: haha adu ti nag-nosebleed hehe.

@canonista: i seriously broke down after seeing this. but which made me feel better afterwards. thanks for this.

@hard2getxxx: salamat papa hard. anyway andiyan yung blog mo to make me smile.

@emmanuelmateo: ay hehe. oo nga marami rin akong ibang kaibigan na depressed ngayon. kakakausap ko lang sa kanila kanina.

@vhinong: yeah i'm grateful he's with me, and I know that He is also always there for me.

@istambay: binaha nga ng dugo dito hehe. thanks parekoy.

Nowitzki Tramonto said...

galing! loved your composition :)

Sean said...

@nowitzki: salamat nowitzki :)

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