Friday, September 30, 2011
I checked if my husband was looking before I discreetly called up the YouTube site on my screen. I typed a search filter, clicked on one of the links that appeared, and put my earbuds on.
He appeared on the screen. Handsome. Confident. Almost regal. Then he commenced with his speech. And I don't know if it was for the same reasons as before, but I was again in awe. Of my ex.
It's my dirty little secret, and I admit, it's quite bordering on obsession. Is this a form of cheating? I honestly don't know. What i do know is that in spite of this guilty pleasure, I don't love my husband less.
Some might say this is an excuse, but maybe I don't really need to analyze and justify what I still feel. Perhaps it is simply that love, even one that's all in the past, will always be beautiful to look at.
photo from here