Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Happy Ending?

The lights onstage are dim. The set empty. The judges' panel vacant. I am alone backstage. I look at the lighted mirror in front of me and strip everything off. The borrowed sequined dress. The coiffed hair extensions. The false eyelashes. The gaudy make up. My winning smile. Until all that stares back is me.

I look at the crumpled piece of paper, clasped tightly in my right hand. Callback after callback, and the role is finally mine. We still have to iron out the details, but it is finally happening. I am coming back. I search my eyes, naked under the glare of combined wattage. Am I happy? Is this really where I want to be?

Big and bright, that's how my eyes looked in the light. Unsure. Somewhat panicked. As I struggle to find a way back into the incoming traffic rush. It's funny I'm back in the same spot that I left almost a year ago. A year of finding myself, my true purpose, that elusive concept of fulfillment.

But as what all aging prostitutes will tell you, life goes on. Reponsibilities don't magically disappear. The bills pile up, and you go back to doing what you know best. As I wipe away the remaining red shadow on my lips, I try to hum a tune from my childhood. One that I was able to learn again during my one-year break.

Happiness is finding a pencil. 
Pizza with sausage. 
Telling the time. 
Happiness is learning to whistle. 
Tying your shoe 
For the very first time. 
Happiness is playing the drum 
In your own school band. 
And happiness is walking hand in hand. 
Happiness is two kinds of ice cream. 
Knowing a secret. 
Climbing a tree. 
Happiness is five different crayons. 
Catching a firefly. 
Setting him free. 
And happiness is being alone every now and then. 
And happiness is coming home again. 
Happiness is morning and evening, 
Daytime and nighttime too. 
For happiness is anyone and anything at all 
That's loved by you. 
Happiness is having a sister. 
Sharing a sandwich. 
Getting along. 
Happiness is singing together 
When day is through, 
And happiness is those who sing with you. 
Happiness is morning and evening, 
Daytime and nighttime too. 
For happiness is anyone and anything at all 
That's loved by you. 

photo from here


Juan der Last said...

Welcome back to the world of the miserably employed! It has its pros, you know. ;)

Mac Callister said...

back to work na?...where have u been for the whole year ba?

Spiral Prince said...

Ah, but kuya Sean, blessings often come disguised. Look for that silver lining in your cloud.


Jj Rodriguez said...

you are right. happiness is what you make small things big... to write a beautiful interpretation over a sad pic.. it's a state of mind...

be happy all the time... that's the essence of life...


^travis said...

You're a good man, Charlie Brown..."happiness" is one of my favorite songs in that musical, too.

the.island.guy said...

"normal life"
Sometimes being away from it for so long suddenly makes it feel not so normal anymore

nice blog : )

bienvenido_lim said...

I love that song too.

Sean, ganun yata talaga. Kelangan talaga natin magputa.

Xian Garvida said...

happiness is...hays, one of my all time-fave!

Mr. G said...

Congrats! Don't go to work bra-less! Cheers!

린코 said...

congratulations! :D

Sean said...

@juan der last: hahaha! thanks juan. i do hope there are!

@mac callister: most likely soon. pakalat kalat kung saan liparin ng hangin... hahaha ang drama!

@spiral prince: thanks spiral. hugs back at you.

@jj rodriguez: that is true. cheers to happiness! hahaha!

@^travis: mine too.

@the.island.guy: that's so true! hard to get your groove back. thank you!

@bienvenido_lim: hay! oo nga bien... :(

@xian garvida: love the simple things mentioned.

@mr. g: salamat. hahaha! panty-less na lang.

@nikki: thanks nikki!

Seriously Funny said...

Comment absolutely not related to the content of the post: ang HOT ng guy in the picture! I likey very much! Hehehe!

Sean said...

@seriously funny: i agree hahaha!

Blakrabit said...

I like the way you write! Very cryptic!

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