My friends and I had dinner and spontaneously decided to watch Last Night (Keira Knightley, Sam Worthington). The ladies were looking forward to another rom-com treat and were surprised by the underlying theme of the movie - infidelity. The film was also dark and open-ended, which they found disturbing.
They decided to have an impromptu discussion on betrayal over a round of drinks. I generally don't enjoy participating in such discourses, but it was interesting to hear the opinions of people with different relationship statuses:
Single Ladies: They were the most idealistic of the group. They were absolute in their belief that infidelity, be it physical or emotional, was unforgivable. When I asked if they thought they were capable of cheating, they all responded with disgust. Prudes.
Married Ladies: Earlier in their marriages, they were as idealistic as their single counterparts. As they matured in their relationships, they realized they have the capacity for (and would extend) forgiveness. They could not articulate why but claimed it was not because of the children, money, or fear of growing old alone.
Married Men: They understandably had no opinion, as the wives were there. Smart move. Maybe I should have invited them to Genie for a follow through discussion. They have forgiving wives anyway.
Single Men: I was alone in this group, but unbeknownst to the others, I was part of the "married" groups.
I have not faced this dilemma in my current relationship, but I am with the married ladies on this. And like them, I find it hard to explain why I can forgive what the singles view as an affront to the relationship and myself. People may disagree, but maybe an aged relationship is like an old black and white photograph, where everything in the picture is now just different shades of gray.
photo credit: advocate.com