Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Unfaithful


My friends and I had dinner and spontaneously decided to watch Last Night (Keira Knightley, Sam Worthington). The ladies were looking forward to another rom-com treat and were surprised by the underlying theme of the movie - infidelity. The film was also dark and open-ended, which they found disturbing.

They decided to have an impromptu discussion on betrayal over a round of drinks. I generally don't enjoy participating in such discourses, but it was interesting to hear the opinions of people with different relationship statuses:

Single Ladies: They were the most idealistic of the group. They were absolute in their belief that infidelity, be it physical or emotional, was unforgivable. When I asked if they thought they were capable of cheating, they all responded with disgust. Prudes.

Married Ladies: Earlier in their marriages, they were as idealistic as their single counterparts. As they matured in their relationships, they realized they have the capacity for (and would extend) forgiveness. They could not articulate why but claimed it was not because of the children, money, or fear of growing old alone.

Married Men: They understandably had no opinion, as the wives were there. Smart move. Maybe I should have invited them to Genie for a follow through discussion. They have forgiving wives anyway.

Single Men: I was alone in this group, but unbeknownst to the others, I was part of the "married" groups.

I have not faced this dilemma in my current relationship, but I am with the married ladies on this. And like them, I find it hard to explain why I can forgive what the singles view as an affront to the relationship and myself. People may disagree, but maybe an aged relationship is like an old black and white photograph, where everything in the picture is now just different shades of gray.

photo credit: advocate.com

19 comments:

Lalaking Palaban said...

Trust is the basic foundation of any relationship.

Ms. Chuniverse said...

Oo, ako na ang prude. choz!

hahaha!

single lady here.

=)

Nimmy said...

hmmmmm... nasa married men din ako. binabasa ni leo blog mo eh. LOL

uno said...

ako sa married ladies ako...

hahaha basta ang lagi kong sinasabi sa mga nanghihingi ng advice...

ganito...

mahal mo? sure ka na mahal mo? pag sinabi nya oo..

mahal mo pla eh... sa pag-ibig pagmahal mo hindi ka napapagod...magpapatwad ka lagi

KikomaxXx said...

hahah char masyado pa siguro akong bata para sumabot dito.. ahahha... peace lang chong.. wahehhe

Gooeyboy said...

4 years ago I had what I thought was a happy relationship Until I needed to get a roommate. I took my then partner's advice to take in a common friend. I worked nights, they both had the nights off.

One day my partner left me saying there was another guy. He left without telling me whom it was. My roommate kept bugging me about him, I only told him, "pag ayaw na, hindi ko mapipilit."

months passed, he too, left, I was left with the question, "what's wrong with me?" I even went to a shrink.

2 years later, I learned from a friend, that my former roommate... siya yung other guy.

jc said...

nasa married ladies ako with an idealistic mind. haha!

Sean said...

@lalaking palaban: that's true.

@ms. chuni: choz nga sa pagiging prude hahaha! :)

@nimmy: good idea hehehe.

@uno: pareho tayo uno.

@kikomaxxx: peace batman.

@gooeyboy: i'm sorry for what happened to you gb. i hope you're ok now and have been able to move on.

@jc: hahaha nice! kinilig naman ako sa proclamation mo ng pagiging married. :)

orally said...

Ako na si Beyonce!

Mr. G said...

He knows. She does not know. I know I love her. I know she loves me. I do not know what will happen if she would know. Hirap! kaya lie low na lang talaga...cheers to gay celibacy!

emmanuelmateo said...

trust and faith is the most powerful weapon we must have..

single ladies.

Mr. Chan said...

haaaay. issue. nakakapagod. hehehe

surely mapapatawad mo naman kapag MAHAL MO. pero yung fear na baka ulitin hindi na mawawala. kailangan talagang magbigay ng BEST EFFORT yung nanloko. hanggang sa makalimutan na.

BEST EFFORT would mean bloody reconstruction of trust.

Kyle said...

hello kuya sean...

boto ako dun sa sinabi ni mr. chan. sabagay dapat kapag ginawa yun ay todo effort nga at dapat sincere yung taong gumawa...

Aris said...

single ako pero mapagpatawad. choz! :)

Kiks said...

hard to discuss fidelity but i am as prude as i can be with friends who become infidels.

~Carrie~ said...

'Clueless', 'marr(i)ed' man here.

V1nC3 said...

I've always believed that men can separate plain sex from feelings. So as long as there is no emotional attachment of some sort - okay lang. It is a non-issue. Maybe Monogamy is not the only way to go. Baka namulat lang kasi tayo sa ganyan idealismo. =)

Papa Jay said...

Just dropped by. Nice discussion you have going on here.

Sa tingin ko, wala taong may monopoly sa mga pananaw sa buhay. Ang mahalaga, nagkakasundo kayo ng partner mo sa pananaw na ito.

Kaya, kung pareho kayo ng pag-iisip ni V1nC3 na okay lang ang sex for the sake of sex, eh di by all means, have fun.

Pero oras na magkasalungat na kayo ng pananaw, dealbreaker ito para sa akin. Away lang yan.

Oh, and yes, Single Lady here.

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