Saturday, November 3, 2012

Cake


I have to deliver a presentation on Monday, and I'm stressing out. It comes with the job, but I still fret over it each time. Public speaking and other skills in my line of work are just not in my nature. So I question why I am in this role and industry in the first place.

I have always leaned more on the creative over the technical. Art, music, creative writing, and foreign languages were the subjects I enjoyed the most. I wanted to take up fine arts and filled up applications with universities that had the best programs.

"Walang pera diyan anak," my Dad said and forbade me from turning in my applications unless they were for business or technical courses.

Maybe he was right, I don't know. But here I am, stuck with something that I hate. Unable to shift industries after years of specialization. Unwilling to let go of the salary that comes with the experience level. Unhappy yet waited too long to do anything about it.

After another long day at work, I met up with hubby for dinner and dessert. I still couldn't stop thinking as we ate. I knew my own choices led me to this point, but I wondered if I'd be more happy now if my Dad supported me back then.

But then again, would I still have met the person seated across the table and trying his best to cheer me up?

15 comments:

rudeboy said...

We all have to live with the choices we make and those made for us, Sean. That includes regret: some a little, others a lot.

We often wonder about the path we didn't take, and all the couldawouldashouldas. And after a certain point in our lives and careers, these alternate paths become forever closed to us.

But yes - there is often a silver lining. In your case, you probably wouldn't have met your hubby had you pursued some other line of work. I wouldn't have met mine had I not invested in that disaster of an enterprise. A little costly, time and money-wise, but I suppose in the end, he was worth it.

It seems yours was.

ZaiZai said...

It's all good Sean, at the end of the day, there's no use in pondering things that there's not much you can do about. Just enjoy and celebrate what you have, especially the cute guy trying to cheer you up :)

london boy said...

The last paragraph was the best part. You're the sweetest :)

Sean said...

Hi Rudie. Regret is such a bummer, and realizing that alternatives are either quickly disappearing or have been lost altogether is depressing the hell out of me. I know that happiness is a choice and that we should take it where we can. Hubby seems to be my only silver lining at this point and is the only reason why I am still sane :(

Sean said...

Thanks Zai. That's my greatest weakness. I can't seem to pull myself out of this rut in spite of knowing that I shoudnt worry of things beyond my control. Thanks again Zai :)

Sean said...

Awwww thanks London boy! :)

rudeboy said...

I eat regret for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, Sean.

And it's easy to say happiness is a choice, but I leave such sentiments to greeting card writers. Sometimes, despite all our willpower and positive thinking, we just can't be happy about some things.

I should stop now because I'm not only bumming you out, I'm bumming myself out, too. Especially now that I don't smoke and have to detox on the alcohol, I have no crutches.

Sean said...

Hahaha. Thanks Rudie. I need a drag. Let me have one for you then.

karla said...

came home from abroad more than three years ago. that meant losing 2/3 of what i was earning. do i regret it? yep,sometimes.in fact, i sometimes browse through job sites to see what's on offer abroad.

but then the simple reminder of my faghag would pop up. which is, we often yearn for what we don't have. and then i'd realize that i would yearn for the simple pleasures i have here in manila if i'm working overseas. and right now, i don't think i'd willing to part with that. i'm happy you've got your hubby by your side. =)

Shenanigans said...

its not too late buhay ka pa may magagawa ka pa :)

lagay ka ng piso sa sapatos pag may presentation ko or imagine mo naked yung mga kausap mo. hihi!

Mac Callister said...

atleast u have ur hubby at the end of the day to cheer u up.

and why not try what u love most soon?

Tim Smithson said...

It's a war between the need and the passion. I was succumbed by some choices with my Dad too. He wants me to be a Doctor, but Art is my passion, i wanna be a radio dj I told him. and he don't like it.

But nung nanalo ako ng award ng best dj sa buong Pinas, sya pa nauna ng book ng ticket to get it.

but yun nga, there are things that are given to be so hard. i appreciate the hubby you have who supports you all the way. Hays, kelan kaya ako ulit?

xoxo_grah said...

hey! we all have to make people choose for us at one point, and family for that matter takes a very great say about our future, but maybe its best for us to move on and decide for our selves when we are ready to stand on our own feet...:) You surely are a winner with the person seated across...:)


xx!

Sean said...

@karla: that's a huge drop! i'm glad that you're happy, and i hope i can be in the same place someday. and thanks - i am really glad that he's here.

@shenanigans: thanks shenanigans. sana nga :) naku kulang ata ang piso - baka gawin kong alkansiya ang sapatos ko di pa rin umubra. pwede nga yung kasong hubad kaso walang guwapo sa kanila haha!

@mac callister: yeah, he's the one that saves my day. naku maraming responsibilidad! feel na feel ko ang pagiging OFW...

@tim: i'm glad that your dad eventually saw that you were good at what you love doing :) are you still DJ-ing (tama ba yun)? and i wish you'll meet him soon..

@xoxo_grah: hi xoxo. yeah i do blame myself for not taking any action earlier. thanks - you're right, i do feel like a winner in that regard :)

citybuoy said...

Grabe, at the risk of sounding generic, sobrang nakarelate ako. I mean, it would be so easy to just do what you want. Better if you can get paid for it. But then the job I applied for in 2007 ended up turning into a career and now I don't even know if I can still turn back.

Regrets? Yes. Constantly. But given a do-over, would you make the same choices again?

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